When we started exploring the suburbs online for a potential move we didn't have much to go on. But our search ended up going in two directions: west (Dupage county, stereotypically labeled "conservative") and north (John Hughes movie territory, apparently also conservative).
We decided to begin our search westward, mostly because we are just priced out of a lot of the northern 'burbs. I'd search in our price range and seriously, NO homes would show up for sale. So after cutting a lot of the western burbs for various reasons (too far, not much of a downtown, WAY too conservative), we stumbled upon this video about Elmhurst.
It looks awesome, right? Close to Chicago, cute downtown, great schools, super long bike path, some affordable and diverse housing options. Plus we are friends with at least one family who live out there. They are great, and their daughter is almost old enough to babysit Tater. But then I noticed a You Tube comment about Elmhurst being the porn search capital of the U.S., so I checked it out. Sure enough, according to this Huffington Post article it is. Maybe the suburbs wouldn't be so boring after all. I can spend my downtime speculating which of my neighbors are huge pervs. Or who knows, maybe I'd develop an affinity for smutty Google searches. It does sound more interesting than other suburban hobbies like scrapbooking and stamping.
So anyway, today we headed out to the porn capital of the U.S. and looked at a couple of houses. They were OK, but there was something about spending all of that time cooped up in a car driving that just didn't sit well with either of us. We're just not "drive around in the car" people. Apparently we are more "wait for the el in subzero temps" kind of people. Who knew? I noticed that the first house had an alarm system and asked the agent if people needed them there in the land of freakishly low crime. He said if you are "carrying" it's not a bad idea. Holy crap, so in the city people get alarm systems to protect themselves. Out there it is apparently to protect their guns.
Afterward we went to a local diner-style restaurant and the waitress asked how old Tate was. When I told her he was three she asked if I was already pregnant or just not yet. Ugh! That's another of my suburban fears, that I'll be the only one out there with an only child. My friend who lives out there says it's very Catholic, and her family of two kids feels small. The waitress insisted that I needed to have another child even after I tried to brush her off by telling her I was a zillion years old and it doesn't seem to be in the cards. She had only one when she was younger and regretted it. I tried delicately hinting that I really want another but it just isn't working, but she didn't get it. I thought of standing up and screaming, "For the love of God, woman! I'm 46 years old with one blocked tube and a bunch of miscarriages to my name. Back off and bring me my fruit plate!" But instead we just high-tailed it back to the city. But not before driving past what appeared to be the world's most ginormous public library.
So Elmhurst isn't off the list for sure, but we're not packing our bags just yet.
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