Suburb #1: ELMHURST, the porn search capital of the United States

When we started exploring the suburbs online for a potential move we didn't have much to go on. But our search ended up going in two directions: west (Dupage county, stereotypically labeled "conservative") and north (John Hughes movie territory, apparently also conservative).

We decided to begin our search westward, mostly because we are just priced out of a lot of the northern 'burbs. I'd search in our price range and seriously, NO homes would show up for sale. So after cutting a lot of the western burbs for various reasons (too far, not much of a downtown, WAY too conservative), we stumbled upon this video about Elmhurst.

It looks awesome, right? Close to Chicago, cute downtown, great schools, super long bike path, some affordable and diverse housing options. Plus we are friends with at least one family who live out there. They are great, and their daughter is almost old enough to babysit Tater. But then I noticed a You Tube comment about Elmhurst being the porn search capital of the U.S., so I checked it out. Sure enough, according to this Huffington Post article it is. Maybe the suburbs wouldn't be so boring after all. I can spend my downtime speculating which of my neighbors are huge pervs. Or who knows, maybe I'd develop an affinity for smutty Google searches. It does sound more interesting than other suburban hobbies like scrapbooking and stamping.

I'm having an emotional affair

It's true. I'm cheating on Chicago. When I first moved here from Michigan nearly 20 years ago it was love at first sight--the people, the architecture, the energy. I remember standing in Union Station staring in awe. It was so majestic, and just so urban.

Now two decades and one kid later the bloom is off the rose, and I've started to sneak around and (shhh) explore moving to the suburbs. Nothing has happened, I swear. I have mostly just been checking things out online. And once I went  in person. I swear it was just once. OK, maybe twice.

My prior experience with Chicago 'burbs has been pretty limited. I have visited a friend here and there. I once met a guy from the 'burbs at a Halloween party. I kissed him on the roof of my apartment building because he looked like a young Matlock. (My best defense of this is to say nothing.) In the days leading up to our first actual date he regaled me on the phone with stories about suburban antics involving his stolen garbage cans. Or maybe it was just the lids? My friends nicknamed him Olive Garden. This did not bode well for our budding romance.