Bad mommy

By now most of you have probably heard about this lawsuit in which some rich kids tried to sue their mom for emotional distress for things like failing to send college care packages, trying to make her son wear a seatbelt, and asking her daughter to come home at midnight from a homecoming celebration. (That daughter should have lived in my house; my curfew was midnight and my parents would set a radio alarm clock with the volume turned up all the way in our living room for just after midnight. If I wasn’t home to turn it off the parents would be awake and very, very mad. If I had been smart I would have come home, turned it off, and then gone back out...but I wasn’t.) Anyway, this got me thinking of all of the things Tater could possibly try to sue us for down the road. It’s not a short list.

-Failing to recognize that he had jaundice when he was born even though he was orange as a pumpkin (we thought he was just tan).
-Bringing him home from the hospital on a germy CTA bus.
-Dropping the home phone (Brad) and cell phone (me) on his head when he was a couple months old.
-Letting him nap in his bouncer for the first 6 months since we couldn’t get him to nap in his crib.
-Failing to read the sleep/baby books ahead of time so that we’d know how to get him to nap in his crib.
-Getting him an Easter basket filled with candy we like rather than something he could actually enjoy.
-Not feeding him much in the way of finger foods until close to his first birthday since we thought he shouldn’t have them since he didn’t have teeth and would choke. (Turns out babies don’t need teeth to eat. See above: failure to read baby books.)
-Letting his 3-year-old cousin Tondi tongue kiss him (and taking a photo of it).
-Me lying to a superskinny salesperson that I didn’t know what size dress I needed since I’d “just had a baby” even though Tate was a year old (and not with me at the time, which is why I got away with it).
-Failing to make homemade cupcakes for his first birthday even though I said I would.

I’m sure there is more. I’m really glad the “bad mommy” lawsuit was thrown out. I don't need that kind of precedent hanging over my head.