Remembering my grandma

A really sad thing happened while we were in Massachusetts. We got the news that my grandmother had passed away. It wasn't unexpected since she had gone into a hospice facility when we were all home back in May, but we still miss her very much. I was able to talk to her on the phone the morning she died. She wasn't conscious, but I hope she heard me. Our last conversation before that hadn't been an easy one. We tried to talk on the 4th of July, but her dementia (she had been diagnosed several months earlier) had taken both her ability to speak clearly and to understand what I was saying.

Her memorial service was last weekend. It was a really nice celebration of her life at the church she attended for about 70 years. A member of the church played a few numbers on the bugle. Another church member is an opera singer in NYC and she came back and sang a few songs. My mom and aunt gave loving eulogies, and the rest of us also passed around the mic and shared a few words.

The one thing that made me feel really good was that we had had a 90th birthday party for my grandma two years ago where her friends and family had a chance to stand up and share their favorite memories of her. Afterward she told me it felt like she had just attended her own funeral. Normally I'd say that isn't the sign of a good party, but I knew what she meant. I'm glad she knew how loved she was. Tate, life lesson #1: make sure to tell the people you love how you feel about them. (For the sake of authenticity you can also tell the people you don't love how you feel about them, but that tends to stir up trouble.)

Anyway, here are a few pics of my grandma.


This is a photo of her as a baby with her mother.




And here are a couple of her from nursing school. I remember being impressed growing up that my grandma had been a nurse, since not many grandmas I knew worked. I found out recently that her mom had wanted her to get an education so she didn't have to marry the first guy who came along. Pretty progressive for those times, huh.





And here are a couple of her with my grandpa (the top is their wedding photo). I love the story of how they met. She was dating his roommate and my grandpa used to answer the phone when she called. She hadn't met him in person, but he fell in love with her voice. I'm a little fuzzy on the details of how this all played out, but I think my grandpa eventually met her some time after she broke up with the roommate and asked her out.







My grandma and my mom (left) and aunt (right). Yes, it was the 1970s.



My grandma and her siblings. Her oldest brother and youngest sister are still living. They all grew up on a cherry farm in Michigan.




Here she is showing me off to their next door neighbor.


And here she is working out in the fitness center where she lived. At 90 even after two strokes she still worked out several days a week.



This is the first time my grandma met Tate. She was so happy to see him (and vice versa).



This is from the night before my grandma went into hospice (her health took a turn for the worse that night). We had just finished a family dinner at her place. She is hugging her first grandson (my sister's son Tondi). They named her "Director of Hugging" where she lived because she gives so many hugs. She told me at Christmas never to forget her hugs. I won't.